This blog has been pretty serious lately, so I thought I’d bring a little humor to your life, we could all use it.
1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
2. There are three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.
3. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
5. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren’t they just stale bread to begin with?
6. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
7. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
8. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
9. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
10. What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?
11. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me …..they’re cramming for their final exam.
12. If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
13. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
14. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
15. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
16. As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words “The” and “IRS” together it spells: “THEIRS”?
Have a wonderful day,
Scott Dauenhauer, CFP, MSFP